Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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