The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
