Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
my liver is dry heaving
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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