Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Come share oat with me in your robe
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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