Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Randomize
