I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize