Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
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