Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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