She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
