oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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