I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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