His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
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