New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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