just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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