Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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