grandma shit on top of the toilet
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.