if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.