Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek