She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.