Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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