Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
These 19 Sad People Chose Video Games Over Sex
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Last time i carry you out of a forest
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?