For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
