Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
