then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
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