I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
