You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
