Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
