I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
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