I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize