I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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