girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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