last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
