Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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