I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Randomize
