you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
