i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize