My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
