Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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