Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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