I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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