Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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