Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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