I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I would fuck him just for his dog
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
