you guys were way drunker than both of me
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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