Walk of Shame. In a state park.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
