I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
