I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
