I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I want a musical about memes.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
