then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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