I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
