I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
