WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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