So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
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He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
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Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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