YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
