I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
