do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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