Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
