You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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