Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
