Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize