THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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