Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
So here I am, sexting at work.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
