physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
there's paper in my vomit.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Randomize
