So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
